Monday, July 11, 2011

Neards through the years - a look back at an awesome look

I used to think neck beards were awesome. Then I forgot about it.  Then I remembered again.....

"I've explored all kinds of distant lands and shit. Once on an island in the South Pacific, I mated with the great Kimodo dragon. It was glorious."

"A rag soaked in ether used to be the only way I could lure a wench into my night chambers, but not anymore...This shit's a straight-up pantaloon-dropper."
 "During the day I usually just stand in front of this marble wall in my vest and blouse.  But at night I Riverdance naked in front of my open window before crowds of salivating women"

 "The piece behind me, entitled Americana in Winter, is well-known among the Motel Art elite.  It was painted exclusively with neck hair bristled brushes, and took me 7 years to complete."

 "Every night in my basement my friends an I re-enact 1988's fantasy hit Willow.  And when I say friends I'm referring to my beanie baby collection."

"50% gnome. 100% man."

Sunday, July 3, 2011

YouTube ain't got shit on this

Stock photography is always a delight, but have you ever looked up stock footage? I guarantee it is well worth your time. A quick search of "business shame" produced these gems:

Blasting biceps at work shame.
Hugging your computer shame.
Random stranger in black rubbing your shoulders OH THE SHAME.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

What ever happened to John Tesh?

Sometimes I lie awake at night wondering what the former host of Entertainment Tonight has been up to for the past ten years.  Well I did some light internet research and discovered that since the 90's, he's launched an impressive music career, opening for musical goliaths such as Yanni.

I also discovered that he's been spending a great deal of time with your grandmother.


They've been bathing together...


and sharing tender moments


and gettin' grabby!


and having a blast!

But most importantly.....


Standing around topless!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Best Dynasty quote ever

"I find out that my grandson's been found not from my own flesh and blood, but from a beast nurse?!?! A FAT PHANTOM IN WHITE?!?!" - Alexis Carrington (soon to be Colby)

Friday, May 6, 2011

Lessons from Dynasty - Sexiness in the 80's

Looks like this: 
This guy?  Really???? Seriously, he's already banged 3 of the ladies on the show.

Though I have to admit, he does have a pretty sweet fireplace, and you can't see the lush forest of chest hair in this pic...

 And apparently this is also supposed to be alluring:
Is it hot in here? Let me help you peel that cardigan off your saggy body.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Lessons from Dynasty - Fashion Tip

If you have a figure that resembles a giant crayon, GO WITH IT by wearing the same color head-to-toe.

blue gray
desert sand

freedom fushia