Neards through the years - a look back at an awesome look

I used to think neck beards were awesome. Then I forgot about it.  Then I remembered again.....

"I've explored all kinds of distant lands and shit. Once on an island in the South Pacific, I mated with the great Kimodo dragon. It was glorious."

"A rag soaked in ether used to be the only way I could lure a wench into my night chambers, but not anymore...This shit's a straight-up pantaloon-dropper."

 "During the day I usually just stand in front of this marble wall in my vest and blouse.  But at night I Riverdance naked in front of my open window before crowds of salivating women"

 "The piece behind me, entitled Americana in Winter, is well-known among the Motel Art elite.  It was painted exclusively with neck hair bristled brushes, and took me 7 years to complete."

 "Every night in my basement my friends an I re-enact 1988's fantasy hit Willow.  And when I say friends I'm referring to my beanie baby collection."

"50% gnome. 100% man."