Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Evolution of man

Scientists are always trying to figure out how modern society evolved from early man. But it's pretty obvious how it happened: prehistoric life sucked and early man was over it.

"Nature is so boring. Let's go inside and do something cool like invent the parking ticket."

"Ugh, this prehistoric cat keeps eating our friends. Let's adopt a puggle instead."

"This cave is totally played out. Plus, someone drew stupid antelopes all over the walls. Let's move into a gated community."

"These mammoths smell like butts wrapped in wet sweaters. Let's invent Glade plug-ins that smell like fresh linens and other pleasant shit."

"Nah, we're cool bro, we had stick for lunch. We're gonna go hit up the Taco Bell."

Monday, June 25, 2012

Man Geddes

Remember that lady who use to shove babies into flower pots and take pictures of them? This is just like that, but with MEN.

I don't think these two are going to get along when they grow up, but they look totes adorbs here. 

Why buy cage-free eggs when you can get delicious Nicolas Cage eggs. 

I don't know that it's safe to put your baby on a pile of fiberglass insulation.

Every time a Gary Buseyangel screams, a pound of cocaine is born.