Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Top 5 things to do with my recently extracted wisdom teeth.

1. Hide them in a co-worker's sandwich. When they take a bite, yell "IT BIT YOU BACK!"

2. Wear them on a necklace and tell everyone they belong to people I've killed (seems a little cliche though.)

3. Mail them to an ex-boyfriend I haven't spoken to in years with no explanation or return address.

4. Carve an entire set of baby teeth from them, and donate to a baby in need.

5. Stocking stuffers!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

A 15-year word itch

One day in middle school, my friends Amy, Lauren and I were outside and noticed something like this: 
"Look at that stupid bird, it's all puffed up. I think it is trying to intimidate us."

"Yes, yes, birds do that, they puff up to look intimidating.  There's a word for it....I can't think of the word."

We discussed the issue for a while (possibly for hours), but could not come up with the word.  We figured that surely one of us would think of it eventually, probably hours later in bed or something, and we'd all know the answer by morning.
"The answer is Garfinkel, hooray!"

Unfortunately, the aha! moment never happened...

(did not happen)

Since then, this mysterious avian jargon has pecked relentlessly at the back our brains, causing the annoyance to swell very much like a bird trying to look intimidating.  We've done numerous internet searches, watched nature documentaries and even consulted bird experts at the zoo, all to no avail.  Once, at a raging Georgia Tech house party, Amy and I spent an entire evening thumbing through an Audubon Society bird encyclopedia.  It's been fairly ridiculous.

Today, Amy will be looking at a couple of new phones at the phone store.  She's planning on asking the Iphone Siri what the word is for when birds puff up to look intimidating.  I've been thinking about getting this phone too. My decision will be based 100% on whether or not it delivers the correct answer to the age-old question..."What the f@&k is this bird doing?!?!"