Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Hospital Fun

So I went to a hospital the other day to do some research for this work thing. It was ok, but I have a few ideas on how to make it more fun if you ever happen to find yourself on a hospital tour:

Visit the plastic surgery wing. Ask the surgeon what he/she thinks would look best with your bone structure...one large breast implant in between your shoulder blades, or 4 smaller ones implanted beneath your existing set to make it look like an udder.

Find a medical waste container and play a lighthearted game of syringe toss. First one to get Hepatitis wins.

Shock surgeons with defibrillator paddles while they're working so they feel more like they're playing the game Operation instead of just doing boring surgery.

Steal a bag of blood from the blood bank and put it in a friend's chair when they're not looking. It's just like a whoopie cushion, except with a bag of blood.

Go to the hospital cafeteria for lunch and order a tumor, medium-rare. If they say they don't serve tumor, wink and ask for it well-done.

Put a diaper on a ham and bring it up to the maternity ward. Ask the nurses if they have any advice on how to breastfeed it.

Afterwards, throw your diapered ham at the first male doctor you see and accuse him of being the father.

Take an arm or leg from the amputated limb bin. On your way home, stick it out of the trunk of a friend's car, then call the police and report a suspicious driver. Sit back and watch the zany hijinks ensue. 

or try and recreate this amazing scene: