Evolution of man

Scientists are always trying to figure out how modern society evolved from early man. But it's pretty obvious how it happened: prehistoric life sucked and early man was over it.

"Nature is so boring. Let's go inside and do something cool like invent the parking ticket."

"Ugh, this prehistoric cat keeps eating our friends. Let's adopt a puggle instead."

"This cave is totally played out. Plus, someone drew stupid antelopes all over the walls. Let's move into a gated community."

"These mammoths smell like butts wrapped in wet sweaters. Let's invent Glade plug-ins that smell like fresh linens and other pleasant shit."

"Nah, we're cool bro, we had stick for lunch. We're gonna go hit up the Taco Bell."