"The hair has become so coarse it can only be groomed with the finest LARPing sword."
"I fancy myself the male Lady Godiva, and ride my stallion through the streets clothed only in long, lustrous, neck hair."
"My other car is a gondola."
"People call me the muffin man because I just LOVE muffins! Blueberry muffins, banana nut muffins, chocolate muffins, I've never met a muffin I didn't like. On the weekends I make big baskets of muffins and decorate the baskets with lots of ribbons and lace and other kinds of sadness."
"I'm a bartender at TGI Fridays, but I'm also the lead singer of a sweet Korn coverband called Corn."
"I'm the lead singer of a Corn coverband called Wheat."
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