What ever happened to John Tesh?

Sometimes I lie awake at night wondering what the former host of Entertainment Tonight has been up to for the past ten years.  Well I did some light internet research and discovered that since the 90's, he's launched an impressive music career, opening for musical goliaths such as Yanni.

I also discovered that he's been spending a great deal of time with your grandmother.

They've been bathing together...

and sharing tender moments

and gettin' grabby!

and having a blast!

But most importantly.....

Standing around topless!

Best Dynasty quote ever

"I find out that my grandson's been found not from my own flesh and blood, but from a beast nurse?!?! A FAT PHANTOM IN WHITE?!?!" - Alexis Carrington (soon to be Colby)

How has this not happened yet?

Lessons from Dynasty - Sexiness in the 80's

Looks like this: 

This guy?  Really???? Seriously, he's already banged 3 of the ladies on the show.

Though I have to admit, he does have a pretty sweet fireplace, and you can't see the lush forest of chest hair in this pic...

 And apparently this is also supposed to be alluring:

Is it hot in here? Let me help you peel that cardigan off your saggy body.

Lessons from Dynasty - Fashion Tip

If you have a figure that resembles a giant crayon, GO WITH IT by wearing the same color head-to-toe.

blue gray

desert sand

freedom fushia

Lessons from Dynasty - Important warning

NEVER leave someone for dead.  They are NEVER dead.

looks dead

BUT NOT DEAD